Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
