Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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