I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
