i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
