There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
