Your dad touched me again.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize