i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
