It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I've blown a few things in my day
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
