so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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