Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
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I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
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OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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