I just cut my nipple shaving
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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