also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i out mim tonsoeep
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