Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
