Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
