you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I think my moral compass just broke
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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