im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
