yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
