All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just threw up on my dentist
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
