Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
