There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
