Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
