my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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