why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
