dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
