Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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