You made me cry and you don't even care
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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