It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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