dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
