she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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