when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
