Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
the liver wants what the liver wants
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
