you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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