He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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