im having a threesome with these popsicles
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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