no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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