yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
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I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize