I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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