i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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