no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
send nudes
from the living room?
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