I can't breathe out the right side of my face
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
