So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My friends, they love my intelligence
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
