the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize