I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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