Screwed.edu
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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