Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
