If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
i think im in europe. pls send help
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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