So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Sorry my hands just texted you
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
