help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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