Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
