this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
