this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You pole danced in your parka.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.