i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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