someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.