I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!