3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped