The maid of honor just puked.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
