yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
