Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
