We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize