Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
