dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
