the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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