So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
