are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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