I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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