he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
