Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
