You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
