Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize