home. puking in laundry basket.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize