just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
A+ Viking dick
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
