i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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